Friday, September 13, 2013

The War of the Mind

I have been at war.

There has been death and victory, but it still ensues. I believe it always will for as long as this earth rotates.
No doubt I have been absent from here and it may still continue. Priorities have changed and this outlet is one of those things that have undoubtedly had to lessen in my life.

I want to live in light of eternity and I will fight to do so everyday. I got sucked into blog-land and don't plan on letting it happen again. I don't mean that I wont blog anymore, but I will NOT let it become an idol in my life again. I tried to keep up with everyone else, tried to grow, and honestly I probably could if I really wanted to. But I don't.

Not at the expense of living to blog. Once your mind becomes geared towards growth you start to view everything you do as 'something to blog about'. Instead of enjoying your day, your trying to make it interesting so someone would want to see. Maybe others liked what they saw, but I'm sure God didn't. And that is what matters, what my Lord thinks.

I am a Christian and therefore I am a completely different person than who I was years and years ago. God has been working hard on me lately and I can say that every week I am a different person that I was the week prior. These past few months have been the most precious, tearful, and amazing months of my life. I have never felt so close to God and never have realized my smallness in comparison to His glory, until now. All this to say, I am wanting to fill my days with serving the Lord and am fleshing that out right now.

I am a wife and mother. These roles are greatly prized in the eyes of God and I am a blessed woman. The culture of our day despises these two roles, but I cling to God and not fallen world. I am daily trying to be more pleasing to God and by His strength, I am. Now don't get me wrong, nothing I do can make me any closer to God.  I have been saved by grace alone, but it is because of Gods saving power that I desire to walk in accordance with His will.

I also have some heavy burdens. Burdens that I believe are from God, but at the moment don't know what to do with them. My heart breaks daily and I just plead with the Lord to show me what He would have me do. I know that His timing in perfect and I believe He is shaping and molding me right now for what's to come. I watched a video last week that changed my life. I haven't been the same since. It is so hard to see and watch, but I implore you to watch it. It's disturbing, unbelievable, and heart-wrenching. It does have some disturbing images so please, don't watch it with your children. View it first and then you can decide if your children are mature enough to handle it.

I have always felt the desire to adopt. Ever since I can remember I know that its been something laid on my heart. I am open to whatever God wants. Whether its a child from our country or another, a child who has disabilities or not, a child who is not yet born or who may not get the chance to breathe. I pray God will lead me to be in the right place and the right time and be able to welcome another soul into our home. These children are horribly abused, how can anyone watch this and not break?

***I found last night that the woman who made this documentary has revisited this institution to see the changes made. There was an outcry when it first came out and the country felt the pressure to change. If you want to watch it go HERE. I have not watched this one yet...maybe tonight.

All this leads me to another thing that I want to bring forward to my readers. I mentioned it on my Facebook page, but I'll repeat it here. I am going to be getting rid of my 'the Shepherd's farm' Facebook page. I hardly ever use it and think its a waste of space. I don't want to be followed or 'Liked'. I would like to be friends.

If you would like to become Facebook friends then please send a request. I am more likely to post my updates and things that I care for there. It is much easier and honestly I don't blog so people can see how popular I am. I write because I enjoy it.

I really enjoy this space, I don't plan on stopping blogging altogether, but I do plan on being more intentional about what I blog about. I'm not going to take the time to blog everyday about our everyday lives, but I will blog about stuff that matters. 

I hope all of you are well and that you've felt the presence of the almighty God in your lives. I pray that you would follow through with conviction and live a life pleasing to God. Have a blessed weekend!

1 comment:

  1. I love this post....and I have adopted two kiddos from an institution, but I loved it bc a) you aren't selling anything and b) you aren't trying to gain the blog popularity, which keeps it real and authentic. :) in my opinion.


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