Dear Mama

Do you even know how much I love you? Do you know how much I remember my childhood and thank the Lord that your in it? I am already in tears as I write this to you, for you mean so much to me.

Never in my life do I remember a time where you weren't there for me, where you weren't always ready and willing to listen to my thoughts, fears, and sorrows. You've always been my biggest fan and have offered a place of rest and assurance. I never felt like I wasn't wanted around or that I was a burden to you, in fact I always felt like you were happiest when I was near. You are not perfect, but you are perfectly suited to be my mama.

You taught me so much growing up. You taught me to always speak kindly, how to love others (even when they are unlovable), how to work hard, and how I should be treated. You taught me that sacrifices are made when you love others. We never really had a lot growing up, in fact there were times where we had very little, but you always made sure I had what I needed.  You taught me that 'things' aren't what bring happiness and that family and God are what makes a person truly happy. You never put an emphasis on material gain, on designer clothing, on a perfectly decorated house, fancy cars, or expensive jewelry. And no, these things aren't bad in and of themselves, but you showed me real worth. You taught me that what I say is important, that I needed to be honest, and that I needed to follow through with what I say. You gave me character and strengthened me as a person.

When I had my rough patches in middle school and never seemed to get a break from the teasing, you were always there. You were always ready to tell me that I was smart enough, pretty enough, and that even though it was painful, the things I was hearing simply weren't true. I am grateful for a mama that always put things into perspective. Your love for me knew (and knows) no bounds and I feel it every time we are together.

I remember when you and dad had your rough patches too. I remember the closed doors and the silent struggle. In this too, I learned something from you, something that has stuck with me through all these years. You never once talked bad about dad, belittled him, or made him seem less of a man. If anything, you always spoke of dad to me like he was a superhero (and he is). You never let your disagreements affect the way you spoke of dad to me. I can't thank you enough for this! The Lord no doubt granted you the wisdom and the self-control to do this. I know that those struggles weren't all dad nor were they all you, but the effects of two strong first born children having to work things out. I remember when the Lord healed your marriage and I watched the two of you fall in love again. What a testament to the power of God and the blessing of perseverance! You both have shown me the importance of marriage, of putting God before all else, and that just because something is tough doesn't mean it's not worth fighting for.

I remember after high school when I had my world rocked, you were there. You asked gentle questions and when I opened up, there was no judging. I praise God for this because I think I would have died if your response wasn't so loving, so caring. You understood my sadness, my sorrow, and offered love in return. It is safe to say that I've always felt loved to the core by you.

Mama, I love you.

More than I can say. More than I can convey in a letter.

I am a mama now and I thank God for the example I've been given. I now know what it's like to love my children and can fully understand why you were the way you were with me. I love seeing you with my children. You are the beloved YaYa and my kids adore you. They always want to be with you and I know exactly why. You love them like you love me. Unconditionally.

I know you and how you think. And I want you to know that most of what you think about yourself is not correct. You are one of the most beautiful women I know, inside and out. You are truly a gem. Your green eyes, red hair, beautiful skin could make any woman jealous. Your inner person is even more beautiful. You are a caring, generous, and soft hearted person that gives of your time freely. You know the value of time and so give it to others without restraint.

Thank you for teaching me, for raising me, for loving me. You have given me a role model to look up to and I hope you know how dearly I love you. I couldn't ask for a better mama.

Like the scriptures say, I am rising up and calling you blessed. For that is what you are...blessed!

Lord bless you mama and Happy Mother's day!

The Path Less Taken

I live a blessed life. Truly, I have a blessed existence. The Lord in His providence saw fit to place me here and gave me strong convictions about life and purpose. I have many thoughts coursing through my mind and at times, it is difficult to sort them through, to place them in the highest order of importance, and it can be draining to someone who wants to fix the worlds problems (me) and realize that I cannot. Only God can. I am His tool however and I pray that I will be used mightily.

My intention for this blog is not to show off my accomplishments (they are few) and to make much of myself. No, that is not my goal and I hope it doesn't seem to be. My goal for this blog is to journal mine and my family's life here on our farm so we can encourage others who would like to do the same. I want to be the Proverbs 31 woman. This may seem silly to you, but I desire to be her with every bone in my body. I can get discouraged when I read of her because I can see my failings so clearly, but God gave us this woman as an example of what a godly woman can and should be. I therefore conclude that He can also give me the strength to fulfill the role He desires for my life.

Every morning and evening when I go out to do chores I see God and His hand in creation. Life is bursting here on the farm. The fruit trees are already getting heavy with fruit. Apple, peach, plum, and pears - just to name a few. The walnut trees are absolutely majestic, so big and grand with their long branches and broad leaves. My seedlings - even under the care of a black thumb - are doing amazing. The tomato seeds I planted last week are growing like crazy! It seems like they grow every time I check on them, which is often. My pumpkins are still the greenhouse kings and they let the rest know it. Already, their vines are taking shape and towering over the other seedlings showing off their distinct leaves and quick growing ability. The chickens are pretty much full grown and we still have worries of a rooster. I hope we are wrong in our assumptions. *Only about 30 minutes after writing this post it was confirmed. We have a rooster.*

My sheep are another story. I called our shearer the other day and he's supposed to come out soon to clip them of their winter wool. I am awaiting this day with great anticipation because we aren't positive they are bred. Our ram is pretty young and even though his effort was never ending, we just aren't positive that he was - ahem - 'ready'. Time will tell and we still have a little while before we can officially say yea or nay. I so desperately want lambs this year, I may shed a few tears if we don't have any. Sniff. Wouldn't you?

I often wonder about this life that God has led my husband and I to. What is His plan, purpose, and direction for it? I read about, hear about, and witness people all around me getting the 'bug' so to speak. Right now it seems that people are really wanting to go back in time a bit and live a simpler life. People want to witness life in all it's forms. Really we all are wanting to see God and it is so easy to when you live this way. I'm not sure how you can deny His existence when you see a lamb be born, or your very first seedling pop up from the soil. It's truly a thrill! I believe 100% that the most miraculous event (physical...not spiritual. Salvation of course reigns supreme.) that a person experiences is the birth of a child. There is nothing sweeter than the reward of a child after the hours of travail and grueling pain. The sweet smell of a newborn, the warmth of their skin, looking them over intently and meeting the new little one that God has given you. I'm almost to tears right now, I love my babies!

Are you one of those people? Do you yearn for a garden, livestock, a simpler life? Do you desire a spouse, happiness, children? These are great things to desire, but I hope that all of us desire God the most. I hope that we surrender our lives to Him and let Him guide us. It is easy to get distracted these days; there are so many things that can take away our attention. The Lord is merciful and is always patient with this child of His - moi. He always gently leads me to the Rock that I can lean on, the River where my thirst will forever be quenched.

Physically my family is taking the path less taken. Farming is not necessarily glamorous and it seems that celebrity and glamour are what a lot of people want today. Farming is definitely not the life of ease.  We want a life that is spent growing, raising, and nurturing life so it can in turn nurture us. We desire to spend our time helping others, for we truly desire with our farm to bless others. Right now we are still figuring out the kinks, but this farm is not ours, it's God's and we want to use it to bless others, feed others, and point others to the One that matters.

Spiritually we are living the path less taken. It seems that the idea of God is attacked from every corner. And let me just say, God is NOT an idea. He is not just some moralistic 'being' that floats in the sky and tells us the things we cannot do. He is not some goody-two-shoes that is a pushover and merely makes suggestions for how people should live. He is not a figment of the imagination that people have created so they can explain away their fears. No, He is the embodiment of perfection. He is truth, He is holy, He is righteous, and He is just. He is the Creator of life and without Him, we wouldn't be.

May my life, my family, and yes, this blog point in one direction...up. I am living proof that God loves and saves sinners. Lord willing, my life will not be lived in vain. Lord willing, my husband and I will use what we've been given to bless and teach others.

When I am old and my life is spent, I hope to look back and see Christ and all the He's done through His servant.

I hope I will always continue to take the path less taken.

A Letter To My Son

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.

Psalm 127:3-4

My dear boy, oh how I love thee. Everything about your precious face, your adventuresome spirit, and your strong will make me smile. My womb has surely been blessed. On the day you were born the Lord was doing a  great thing. You were placed in my care and when you breathed your first breath, I was then at that moment, made a mother.

Words cannot be sufficient when it comes to the awe of staring into the eyes of a newborn babe. God, the Creator of life, had perfected you in the womb and when He was finished, He had you arrive in the ordained day. And what a day it was. One cannot be in labor, be filled with pain and in travail, birth a child, and NOT see the hand of God. To refuse this is to be blind.

My son, our Lord has great plans for you. I know it for I already see Him at work in your heart. You've been given an able body, but whats more, you've been given a strong mind and a clear tongue. I pray you will grow up in wisdom and in the fear of God. I pray that you will be courageous and yet ever gentle in spirit.

Remember your favorite, David. He was a shepherd boy and cared for the lambs, but he killed what would have them. Remember his zeal for the Lord; his faith that God would protect him; his loyalty and honor; his remembrance of past promises and how he looked forward to the future promises of God.

Remember also my son, that the mighty in faith, even David, can fall into terrible sin. But God, He gives new hearts to His children and so be quick to turn away from sin and folly, be quick to fall on your knees before God with tears lamenting of your sin and ready to be filled with God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

Be humble.

You are still but a child and I, Lord willing, have many years more with you. I pray that God would make me a wise woman and mother, that He would make it clear how to raise you well, and that my love and labor with you would not be in vain.

My dear boy, my son, my heart, I love you.

Always know that there's One who loves you more, One who made this world, One who gives true happiness, peace, and meaning...and only One with the power to save.

Jesus.

Cling to Him as I do. For if you do you will be blessed with all spiritual blessings heaven has to offer.

I love you.

Love, Your Mama

One of my favorite passages of Scripture:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption though his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Ephesians 1:3-14

Here's a myriad of pictures from Jude's birthday party last weekend.

A Sunset Walk

My family went on a walk last night and it was so very, very lovely. I've missed getting some 'fun' time with my kids and husband. We seem to always be busy with a project, building something, or just plain getting caught up with life.

This is the water shed that we're converting into our chicken coup. Can't wait till this eyesore is no more.

 I have learned over the past few weeks that if an effort is not made to communicate, then as time passes, assumptions are made and arguments ensue. (Please don't worry that we are having marital struggles. Actually far from it.) Like I said previously, we've been busy. There are so many things happening on the farm right now that we can hardly keep up with it all. I am not complaining mind you, and I am incredibly thankful that we are able to do all the fencing, organizing, and remodeling that we need to. It's quite a blessing from the Lord.

It is very easy though to get so busy that I forget to talk to the one who has my heart...my husband. The other night, we got in a little spat over a fence. I know, silly right? Ahem. Silly as it may be, we still had to work out a few 'assumptions', and then had to come to a point where we had to state what our thoughts were on the subject, and then come to an agreement. Wow, that was a mouthful.  Thankfully, my hubby and I are always able to come to an agreeable decision. This is the Lord's doing. If it were up to just us, well, I'm afraid we'd be a wreck. I'm terribly stubborn and hot tempered.

I had such a nice time walking in the pasture behind our house with my kids, hubby, and camera in tow. Jude was busy 'hunting' and Ella just did what she does best, she sang while she kept up. My girl loves to sing and it makes my heart happy to hear her pretty songs. Ella just melts me.

Seth and I spent the walk talking, holding hands, and dreaming about all that we wanted to do with this gorgeous place that God has given us. We always come back to the fact that we are blessed FAR beyond what we deserve. God is so good!

The sunset was breathtaking. I love how God puts His artwork on display every night. Nothing compares to His artistry and He is truly the only original.

The night ended with us getting to eat a delicious roasted chicken with vegetables and salad. One of my favorite dinners (the added bonus was that my in-laws are in town, so I didn't have to cook. Yay!). We sang a few hymns before bed and it was glorious. I mean it. My father-in-law and I sang the melody, while my hubby and his mama sang the harmony, the kids sang too and it was a lovely time of worship. I love to sing praises to God with my family. Such a wonderful way to end a beautiful sunset walk.

Amen.