That Woman

In the early years of my marriage I found myself drawn to martyrdom, and yes, I find myself still drawn. The way that the persecuted church just shines is just amazing and they are a bright and burning light in this dark and cruel world. I decided to read Foxe's Book of Martyrs and it had a profound and lasting mark on my life. It is full of stories of saints who paid with their lives to tell of the love of Christ. How can one measure one story against another? You can't really, but there is one story that has burned its way into my heart.

Its of a mother who had a young son and she had to watch him suffer and die. I am just going to warn you, if you are faint of heart, or don't like to deal with death, DON'T READ THIS POST! The contents following are hard to read (and type), but I am led to share this woman's story.

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"Here again Romanus, taking good occasion, made a long oration of the eternity of Christ, of His human nature, of the death and satisfaction of Christ for all mankind. Which done, he said, 'Give me a child, O prefect, but seven years of age, which age is free of malice and other vices wherewith riper age is commonly infected, and thou shalt hear what he will say.' His request was granted.

A little boy was called out of the multitude, and set before him. 'Tell me, my babe,' quoth the martyr, 'whether thou think it reason that we should worship one Christ, and in Christ one Father, or else that we worship many gods?'

Unto whom the babe answered, 'That certainly (whatsoever it be) which men affirm to be God, must needs be one; and that which pertains to that one, is unique: and inasmuch as Christ is unique, of necessity Christ must be the true God; for that there be many gods, we children cannot believe.'

The prefect hereat clean amazed, said, 'Thou young villain and traitor, where, and of whom learnedst thou this lesson?'

'Of my mother,' quoth the child, 'with whose milk I sucked in this lesson, that I must believe in Christ.' The mother was called, and she gladly appeared. The prefect commanded the child to be hoisted up and scourged. The pitiful beholders of this pitiless act, could not temper themselves from tears; the joyful and glad mother alone stood by with dry cheeks. Yea, she rebuked her sweet babe for craving a draught of cold water: she charged him to thirst after the cup that the infants of Bethlehem once drank of, forgetting their mothers' milk and paps; she willed him to remember little Isaac, who, beholding the sword wherewith, and the altar whereon, he should be sacrificed, willingly proffered his tender neck to the dint of his father's sword. Whilst this council was in giving, the butcherly tormentor plucked the skin from the crown of his head, hair and all. The mother cried, 'Suffer, my child! anon thou shalt pass to Him that will adorn thy naked head with a crown of eternal glory.' The mother counselleth, the child is counselled; the mother encourageth, the babe is encouraged, and receiveth the stripes with smiling countenance. ( If your crying now, please know that I can hardly see to type.)

The prefect perceiving the child invincible, and himself vanquished, committeth the blessed babe to the stinking prison, commanding the torments of Romanus to be renewed and increased, as chief author of this evil.

This was Romanus brought forth again to new stripes, the punishments to be renewed and received again upon his old sores. No longer could the tyrant forbear, but needs he must draw nearer to the sentence of death. 'Is it painful to thee,' saith he, 'to tarry so long alive? A flaming fire, doubt thou not, shall be prepared for thee and by and by, wherein thou and that boy, thy fellow in rebellion, shall be consumed into ashes.' Romanus and the babe were led to execution. When they were come to the place, the tormentors required the child of the mother, for she had taken it up in her arms; and she, only kissing it, delivered the babe. 'Farewell,' she said, 'my sweet child; and when thou hast entered the kingdom of Christ, there in thy blest estate remember thy mother.' And as the hangman applied the sword to the babe's neck, she sang on in this manner:

All laud and praise with heart and voice,

O Lord, we yield to thee:

To whom the death of this thy saint,

We know most dear to be.

The innocent's head being cut off, the mother wrapped it up in her garment, and laid it on her breast."

                                                                -Foxe's Book of Martyrs (end of chapter one)

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This story has more do with the child in ways and let me just say for sayings sake, I'm not sadistic nor do I desire any of my children to die like this dear boy.

I so deeply desire for my children to grow up to love and to know the Lord. I don't want to raise little pharisees that know all the rules, but inwardly are as dead as a corpse. There are so many things that I could want for them, but to know God is really my main concern. It is so convicting to read of this mother who no doubt loves her child, BUT she loves his soul more. By her words and her actions she proves where her heart truly lies, and it's with Jesus.

There are so many distractions, so many things begging for our attention, but at the end of the day what truly matters?

Over the past 6 months or so, the Lord has been greatly changing and impressing upon me the importance of a life lived for God. Nothing else matters. N-o-t-h-i-n-g. I have experienced a closeness with Jesus that I dare not to give up. He is more real than the air I breathe and I want to serve Him with every ounce of my being. It is so frustrating to fail and realize how far I truly fall short. And the fact that God chose to make me a mother is just amazing (and terrifying) to me. I am one of the most selfish people I know and I can rival my kids any day. Thankfully the Lord never gives up on His children.

I have been given a very precious treasure in Christ and it needs to be guarded and cherished. It also needs to be lived out and shared with those that God has placed in my life. I often wonder how this woman raised such a spiritually mature son and the young age of seven? How were their days together, what were their conversations like, how did she live in front of her son? I could cry right now just thinking about the hugeness of this task; this task of parenthood. This mother no doubt, did nothing but live, eat, breathe, sleep, and speak of Christ to her son. That sweet boy saw Jesus every day. He saw him dwell in his mother with such severity that he could not deny the power and reality of such a Savior. Oh, that this would be the case with me! I am not this woman, but I want to be her.

It hurts to think of being anything less than being totally devoted to Jesus.

I can't imagine witnessing such atrocities against any one of my children. I am almost to sobs just thinking about it. Then the heavier questions arise in my thoughts, "Is Jesus worth it? Does He mean enough to me to encourage my child(ren) or myself to suffer for His name? Is my treasure/heart with Jesus or do I care about comfort for myself and my family more?

May my walk grow stronger daily with Christ, may the frivolities of this life fall away every second, may I cling to Jesus with such severity that my children have no reason to deny our blessed Savior. May I live, teach, eat, breath, and show my children why were are alive...to serve our God....no matter what.

If you've never read Foxe's Book of Martyrs (AFL), you really should. Sure you'll cry, cringe, and be sick, but so be it. We live in such fluff, such comfort and ease that we have no sense of reality. People die every day for the name of Jesus. And no, they're not just shot and then die, they are tortured and suffer greatly.

There is so much more that I could say, but I'm sure once you've read this story, you'll understand what I mean when I say, "I want to be THAT woman."

Amen. So be it.

Little Things

A few weeks ago, I had one of the best days I've had in a long time. It was one of those days that I could feel the Lord's working and shaping in my life. His presence was ever near and it was a sweet day of fellowship with the One that truly matters.

I am always thinking and scheming about how I can do something big for the Lord; something that would make a huge difference in the life of someone else. I have a list of things that I think are worthy of my thoughts and efforts and yet, that list seems so unattainable. It frustrates me to no end that I have all these burdens on my heart and I seem to be unable to do anything. 

We all want to do something big right? What about the little things? Or the daily events that we seem to just look at as unimportant?

This day was like any other. Nothing special planned and no outings to go and do. The day went along without a hitch and when the afternoon rolled around I knew I needed to start making dinner. Quite often I will make a meal that I know will feed our whole family and there wont be much, if any, leftovers. I was set one of these dinners, but for some reason I felt compelled to make something I haven't made in a while. In fact, I got downright excited to make it. Zuppa Toscana with corn bread...one of my favorites! 

Dinner time was quickly approaching and I did a quick look in the mirror to make sure I was not totally disheveled and was thankful to the Lord that I actually was on time with the meals preparations. Soup was ready, cornbread just came out of the oven, and the table was set. As I was on my knees in the pantry putting the granulated honey in the pot to melt it a bit, my hubby walked through the garage door into the house. No sooner did I peer over my shoulder to say hello than do I see a gentleman following my hubby through the door. I quickly got up and Seth introduced me to Casey. It is not abnormal for my husband to have a person to introduce to me due to him always hiring new employees for his construction company. I assumed he was new to the business and thought no more. I walked into the kitchen and Seth was showing Casey around and the kids were chatting away with our guest. 

We asked Casey to stay and have dinner with us and he kindly accepted. And was I ever so thankful that I made soup instead of a meager dinner!!! While the honey was melting, Seth quickly took Casey outside and showed him around the farm. I got a little curious as to why Seth was talking so casually with Casey rather than filling him in on business talk, but one look out the dining room window and everything made sense.

Let me give you a background on my man.

I had heard a few stories when we first began dating and experienced it in our early marriage. My generous hubby has been known from time to time to pick up hitch hikers and give them a ride or take them to dinner. While I love this about him, it also scares me. I'm sure I don't need to explain why. When we had our first child I asked him to not do it anymore because I didn't want him to get hurt (I won't get into details, but lets just say I know of an incident with a kid I used to go to school with and it makes me incredibly leery of this kind of thing). Anyway, I have become convicted recently about how much we are doing to help the poor and the needy and for reasons only God knows, Seth and I talked a few months ago and we decided if he felt let to pick up a hitch hiker, he should. 

So when I looked out the dining room window, I saw a back pack in the back of the truck...

I smiled to myself and actually laughed. I was so thankful to the Lord for the change of heart that I could rejoice in seeing the Lord work things out. I had made enough dinner to feed twice as many people as we had at the table and my husband brought a wandering soul into our home so we could talk, feed, and encourage him. My children got to see their parents welcome a stranger into our home and they didn't think anything of it. They in fact, loved having Casey there and he was great. Conversation seemed to flow seamlessly and we rather enjoyed hearing about his life and interests.

We can be so quick to judge and act out of fear. And this evening was the exact opposite. Casey was a true gentleman and was actually on his way home from visiting friends. He decided to hitch hike from Oregon to Georgia so he could meet new people and have an adventure. He works a couple seasonal jobs and was on a break. We talked at the table for quite a while and Seth asked if he was ready to go. Lets just say that it was so hard to not tell Casey he could sleep on our couch, when I knew he was wanting to continue on his journey. I felt very inhospitable, but this was how he wanted it. His only request was to try our raw milk because he never tasted it before. And of course, he loved it.

While Seth was dropping Casey off by the interstate (I know, I know), I was pondering over the Lord's providence and how He so perfectly orchestrates events in our lives. Once I got the kids to bed, I went outside to do the chores. I am a creature of habit and always do them the same way, but for whatever reason I decided to do things a bit different. I fed the cat, went to feed Franco, and then headed for the coop. With the layout of our fence and such I have to go through a gate to get to the coop and it's a good thing I went this route. Nestled in the corner of the gate was one of my Welsummer hens. I would have NEVER found her here because this is not the usual spot for a missing chicken to be, let alone the usual chicken. A Rhode Island hen is usually found roosting on the top of the run, so I would have never thought to look here. I picked her up and immediately thought, "Lord, you care about the little things too. Not just what I consider to be big, but you care for the little things too. Feeding and welcoming strangers into our home (big), but also a lone hen that might be harmed if left by herself in the night (little)." 

I tucked the missing hen under my arm and just thanked the Lord for His providence and care for His people and His creation. People are of infinite more value than animals, but that doesn't mean He doesn't care for them.

"Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows."

Matthew 10:20-31

I walked into the coop, turned the light on, counted chickens, closed the run door, and then set the hen on the roost with the rest of the girls. No sooner did I set her down than did I realize she had a patch of feathers missing from her back. She was fine, no blood, but she probably got too close to Franco and got a few feather plucked out. I thanked the Lord (again) for letting me find her and see that she has some feathers missing. I now knew to watch out for her just to make sure she's ok.

I went to bed just in awe of how the hand of God plans the steps of His children and changes our hearts to want to do His will. I will probably not forget this day as it had a profound impact in my life. 

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A few days before we left for our trip to Wyoming I found a letter in the mail that was addressed to Seth. It was from Georgia and I was so confused as to who it could be. I didn't know Casey's last name and I for some reason thought home for him was Texas.

I called Seth and asked if I could open it and once given the ok, I ripped the envelope faster than you could blink. I about started to cry once I realized who it was from and thanked the Lord that we were able to show the love of Christ to one who we may never meet again.

Not sure if you can read the letter, but here is the second half of it:

"The whole trip, Atlanta- Colorado- Oregon- Texas was amazing, but one of the best highlights and probably the most memorable moments was getting the chance to meet you and your family. I can't thank you enough for your hospitality, kindness, and gifts. When people ask about this trip, yours is the first stay I tell. Please extend my greetings and thanks to Noel, Jude, Ella, and Leah. May you all continue to be safe and prosperous. 

                                             -Casey Tucker "

Reading this means more to me (and us) than any amount of money or wealth. We are thankful for the chance to have met Casey Tucker and we pray that the Lord will work in his life.

If I have one thing to say it's this, don't let an opportunity to do another person good pass you by because your are afraid or because it might make you uncomfortable. God is the only one we need to please and He always, always cares for His children. May we always live to please him and never forget the poor, the needy, or just the traveler passing by.

The War of the Mind

I have been at war.

There has been death and victory, but it still ensues. I believe it always will for as long as this earth rotates.
No doubt I have been absent from here and it may still continue. Priorities have changed and this outlet is one of those things that have undoubtedly had to lessen in my life.

I want to live in light of eternity and I will fight to do so everyday. I got sucked into blog-land and don't plan on letting it happen again. I don't mean that I wont blog anymore, but I will NOT let it become an idol in my life again. I tried to keep up with everyone else, tried to grow, and honestly I probably could if I really wanted to. But I don't.

Not at the expense of living to blog. Once your mind becomes geared towards growth you start to view everything you do as 'something to blog about'. Instead of enjoying your day, your trying to make it interesting so someone would want to see. Maybe others liked what they saw, but I'm sure God didn't. And that is what matters, what my Lord thinks.

I am a Christian and therefore I am a completely different person than who I was years and years ago. God has been working hard on me lately and I can say that every week I am a different person that I was the week prior. These past few months have been the most precious, tearful, and amazing months of my life. I have never felt so close to God and never have realized my smallness in comparison to His glory, until now. All this to say, I am wanting to fill my days with serving the Lord and am fleshing that out right now.

I am a wife and mother. These roles are greatly prized in the eyes of God and I am a blessed woman. The culture of our day despises these two roles, but I cling to God and not fallen world. I am daily trying to be more pleasing to God and by His strength, I am. Now don't get me wrong, nothing I do can make me any closer to God.  I have been saved by grace alone, but it is because of Gods saving power that I desire to walk in accordance with His will.

I also have some heavy burdens. Burdens that I believe are from God, but at the moment don't know what to do with them. My heart breaks daily and I just plead with the Lord to show me what He would have me do. I know that His timing in perfect and I believe He is shaping and molding me right now for what's to come. I watched a video last week that changed my life. I haven't been the same since. It is so hard to see and watch, but I implore you to watch it. It's disturbing, unbelievable, and heart-wrenching. It does have some disturbing images so please, don't watch it with your children. View it first and then you can decide if your children are mature enough to handle it.

I have always felt the desire to adopt. Ever since I can remember I know that its been something laid on my heart. I am open to whatever God wants. Whether its a child from our country or another, a child who has disabilities or not, a child who is not yet born or who may not get the chance to breathe. I pray God will lead me to be in the right place and the right time and be able to welcome another soul into our home. These children are horribly abused, how can anyone watch this and not break?

***I found last night that the woman who made this documentary has revisited this institution to see the changes made. There was an outcry when it first came out and the country felt the pressure to change. If you want to watch it go HERE. I have not watched this one yet...maybe tonight.

All this leads me to another thing that I want to bring forward to my readers. I mentioned it on my Facebook page, but I'll repeat it here. I am going to be getting rid of my 'the Shepherd's farm' Facebook page. I hardly ever use it and think its a waste of space. I don't want to be followed or 'Liked'. I would like to be friends.

If you would like to become Facebook friends then please send a request. I am more likely to post my updates and things that I care for there. It is much easier and honestly I don't blog so people can see how popular I am. I write because I enjoy it.

I really enjoy this space, I don't plan on stopping blogging altogether, but I do plan on being more intentional about what I blog about. I'm not going to take the time to blog everyday about our everyday lives, but I will blog about stuff that matters. 

I hope all of you are well and that you've felt the presence of the almighty God in your lives. I pray that you would follow through with conviction and live a life pleasing to God. Have a blessed weekend!

A Letter To My Son

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.

Psalm 127:3-4

My dear boy, oh how I love thee. Everything about your precious face, your adventuresome spirit, and your strong will make me smile. My womb has surely been blessed. On the day you were born the Lord was doing a  great thing. You were placed in my care and when you breathed your first breath, I was then at that moment, made a mother.

Words cannot be sufficient when it comes to the awe of staring into the eyes of a newborn babe. God, the Creator of life, had perfected you in the womb and when He was finished, He had you arrive in the ordained day. And what a day it was. One cannot be in labor, be filled with pain and in travail, birth a child, and NOT see the hand of God. To refuse this is to be blind.

My son, our Lord has great plans for you. I know it for I already see Him at work in your heart. You've been given an able body, but whats more, you've been given a strong mind and a clear tongue. I pray you will grow up in wisdom and in the fear of God. I pray that you will be courageous and yet ever gentle in spirit.

Remember your favorite, David. He was a shepherd boy and cared for the lambs, but he killed what would have them. Remember his zeal for the Lord; his faith that God would protect him; his loyalty and honor; his remembrance of past promises and how he looked forward to the future promises of God.

Remember also my son, that the mighty in faith, even David, can fall into terrible sin. But God, He gives new hearts to His children and so be quick to turn away from sin and folly, be quick to fall on your knees before God with tears lamenting of your sin and ready to be filled with God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

Be humble.

You are still but a child and I, Lord willing, have many years more with you. I pray that God would make me a wise woman and mother, that He would make it clear how to raise you well, and that my love and labor with you would not be in vain.

My dear boy, my son, my heart, I love you.

Always know that there's One who loves you more, One who made this world, One who gives true happiness, peace, and meaning...and only One with the power to save.

Jesus.

Cling to Him as I do. For if you do you will be blessed with all spiritual blessings heaven has to offer.

I love you.

Love, Your Mama

One of my favorite passages of Scripture:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption though his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.

Ephesians 1:3-14

Here's a myriad of pictures from Jude's birthday party last weekend.

A Sunset Walk

My family went on a walk last night and it was so very, very lovely. I've missed getting some 'fun' time with my kids and husband. We seem to always be busy with a project, building something, or just plain getting caught up with life.

This is the water shed that we're converting into our chicken coup. Can't wait till this eyesore is no more.

 I have learned over the past few weeks that if an effort is not made to communicate, then as time passes, assumptions are made and arguments ensue. (Please don't worry that we are having marital struggles. Actually far from it.) Like I said previously, we've been busy. There are so many things happening on the farm right now that we can hardly keep up with it all. I am not complaining mind you, and I am incredibly thankful that we are able to do all the fencing, organizing, and remodeling that we need to. It's quite a blessing from the Lord.

It is very easy though to get so busy that I forget to talk to the one who has my heart...my husband. The other night, we got in a little spat over a fence. I know, silly right? Ahem. Silly as it may be, we still had to work out a few 'assumptions', and then had to come to a point where we had to state what our thoughts were on the subject, and then come to an agreement. Wow, that was a mouthful.  Thankfully, my hubby and I are always able to come to an agreeable decision. This is the Lord's doing. If it were up to just us, well, I'm afraid we'd be a wreck. I'm terribly stubborn and hot tempered.

I had such a nice time walking in the pasture behind our house with my kids, hubby, and camera in tow. Jude was busy 'hunting' and Ella just did what she does best, she sang while she kept up. My girl loves to sing and it makes my heart happy to hear her pretty songs. Ella just melts me.

Seth and I spent the walk talking, holding hands, and dreaming about all that we wanted to do with this gorgeous place that God has given us. We always come back to the fact that we are blessed FAR beyond what we deserve. God is so good!

The sunset was breathtaking. I love how God puts His artwork on display every night. Nothing compares to His artistry and He is truly the only original.

The night ended with us getting to eat a delicious roasted chicken with vegetables and salad. One of my favorite dinners (the added bonus was that my in-laws are in town, so I didn't have to cook. Yay!). We sang a few hymns before bed and it was glorious. I mean it. My father-in-law and I sang the melody, while my hubby and his mama sang the harmony, the kids sang too and it was a lovely time of worship. I love to sing praises to God with my family. Such a wonderful way to end a beautiful sunset walk.

Amen.

Blossoming Womanhood

I went on a drive this morning with the kids. Our destination was not very exciting, but there was wonder taking place within the seats of the lumbering suburban. The kids were asking all sorts of questions, ones that could be answered easily, but shouldn't at the same time.

"Mama, we are surrounded by nature aren't we?"
"Mama, look at the ground squirrel! Why does it run so fast?"
"Look, there's a buck! How many points did it have?"
"Mama, there's horses. Is there a baby one? I love babies! "

Simple questions, but there was an opportunity to point them in the right direction and I took it. Then after answering, I took a turn asking. "Kids, who made all of this?" I asked. "God did!" they replied with amplified excitement. When raising young ones there is always moments, even seconds where you can talk about God and how glorious He is.

On our way home my sweet Ella was talking to me about her baby. She was telling me all about how she cares for her sweet little baby doll and then said, "My baby's hungry, she needs milk." I answered, "Yes Sissy, babies need milk."

I glanced over my shoulder and my heart melted at the sight. My little, sweet, maternal daughter was nursing her baby. I feel like such a blessed mama to get to nurture my girl and teach her the ways of women. She is fascinated with being a mama and wants to learn how to do everything I do. She always wants to help in the kitchen, but she really thrives with babies. She has sat often by my side nursing her baby while I nursed mine. God has placed such a marvelous maternal instinct and a desire to be a mommy in little girls. I hope my Ella will be a thousand times better mama than I am.

This world squelches this instinct. The world says that a woman's worth comes from being a career woman, making a lot of money, living for her own pleasure, and to disdain children because after all, they just get in the way.  And if you do get pregnant unexpectedly, you can just have a 'procedure' and go along with your life. My heart just drops when ever I think about this...

My son will often look at me when I'm holding Leah and say, "Mama, isn't she just a blessing?"

Yes, yes my son, she is a blessing. Children and babies, both born and still growing in the womb are blessings. No matter what. I am thankful that God had mercy on my soul and gave me His perspective and not that of this worlds. I pray that He does the same for my children and for any soul that thinks they have no other way, no other options, no hope of things getting better, and that this 'procedure' is their only way out. No friend, there is another way and I will pray for a way of escape for you. I pray that God will place someone in your path to strengthen you, share the gospel with you, offer to care for you, and even adopt your precious one if the burden remains too big.

I hope to be that person someday. That person who can offer another way, show Hope, and care for a hurting soul.

In the meantime, by the grace of God, I plan on nurturing the maternal instinct in my daughters. I plan on watering and growing their desire to be a godly wife and mama someday. As Christians, we live to please God and no other.

For you formed my inward parts;

    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.

14 

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]

Wonderful are your works;

    my soul knows it very well.

15 

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

16 

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

    the days that were formed for me,

    when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139:13-16 

The Value of Self-Discipline

I'm just going to be honest. I am lacking in a big area right now and it has been made plain to me recently.

Self-discipline.

Now there are general areas of my life where I do pretty well on a day to day basis, but there are other areas where it's obvious that I need to control my whims quite a bit more.

Probably the most obvious to you readers has to do with this blog. It is ever changing and morphing. I am always loving to tweak a little here and there, just to keep myself busy. That's all it is, busyness.

I'm the kind of person who loves to do new things, loves to change things up a bit, and am always thinking to myself, "I wonder what it would look like if I did this or that?" It can be a good thing since so many people are afraid of change or trying something new, but it can bite a person in the rear if they are 'changing things up a bit' a bit too often.

In January of this year I decided I wanted to go to Wordpress because that's where all the 'real' bloggers blog. I wanted to be a real blogger. Ahem...

I never liked it, couldn't get used to is, couldn't figure out how to do a darn thing on it, and so had to have someone else do it for me. Now if your wanting someone to work on a wordpress blog for you I would HIGHLY recommend Stewart from Nourishing Days. He was awesome and did everything I asked and then some. Truly a great gentleman and he is going to treat you well. I just found that I like too much to work on my blog myself and so needed to go back to what I'm comfortable with.

Now with all this blog jumping around and lack of self-discipline is choosing one format and sticking with it, my rear has been 'bit' so to speak. I haven't lost all my posts from the last six months, but if you go to search them and click on the link provided, it will say it doesn't exist. Not sure why, but I KNOW they are there. Also I am having to upload almost all my pictures from the last six months, they didn't translate with the change. Ugh.  If you've been reading here for any length of time you'll know that there are a TON of pictures that I'm going to have to put into quite a few posts. Needless to say I'm a little frustrated with this aspect.

I am very happy to be back, I feel like my blogging break was more than fruitful and you can expect to see me a bit more. I thank you dear readers for not leaving all together and here's to more consistency and yes, self-discipline!

Longer Than Expected

Hello friends.

It seems good to the Lord that I continue to not blog for a while. I went to write up a post the other day, but just couldn't.

I can't explain it, I just couldn't write. Nothing came to me and what I did write seemed dead.

I am wanting to glory God in everything and I think it will bring more glory to Him if I stay away than force it. I don't know if I'll be back or when. It all is up to the Lord and His will for my life.

I understand if your not happy, but I hope you understand.

I will leave the blog up and keep my facebook page up. If you stay 'Like'ing the farm on facebook, you'll know if I come back.

I pray the Lord is working in your life like He is mine.

He is so good and I'm thankful for His presence in my life.

Until later, Lord bless!

My Cup Overflows

Hello everyone.

I just wanted to drop in and say that I've had quite a past few weeks. The Lord has been working on my heart and I have been deep in thought continually. I've been thinking about everything and have had heavy days and days of pure joy. God is so good and is working to make me a better Christian. Needless to say, I haven't had much of anything to write about lately. I'm sorry for my absence and all I can ask is for patience.

I'm working desperately on my patience at the moment and am having to step away from social media and the like for a bit. I'm not gone, I could write up a post tomorrow. I just don't know at the moment and I'm taking it day by day right now, just waiting on the Lord.

Don't worry, everything is very good right now.  I am closer to the Lord than ever before and am thankful to be His child.

When the time is right, I'll be back!

Something To Think About

I want to give you something to think about, something that I heard in a sermon this morning that has given me hope.

I listened to a sermon online this morning, the preacher was Paul Washer and he was talking about salvation. He gave an illustration that is just so clear as to whether or not you know Christ.

"If I were to stand in front of the White House and say that I should be let in because I know the President, they probably wouldn't let me in. If the President were to come out and say, 'I know you, your Paul Washer,' they would probably let me in. So it is with Jesus. You may think you know Jesus, but does He know YOU?" (Paraphrased, watch the video) -Paul Washer

"22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity." Matthew 7:22-23

Loved this sermon.

Just a Warning

Hi friends. Before I start this post let me just say, "WOW!" I can't believe I have almost 500 entry's into my little giveaway. Thanks for your support and for sharing. Also, if your new, thank you for 'Liking' the farm. It means more to me than I can say. Honestly, if I could I'd give each and every one of you a book, but I can't so a simple THANK YOU is going to have to suffice. (The giveaway is still going, click to enter ---->)

Thank you.



I am so thrilled with getting the opportunity to raise my children on a farm, I really am. I consider it a great blessing and an answer to prayer. My children get to learn how to work hard, where their food comes from, how to care for themselves in many ways, how to enjoy the simpler things in life, but there is ONE thing that I consider to be of major importance that I wish to teach them. One thing that I think is easily looked over when self-sufficiency is the goal.

Care and consideration for others. If you are puzzled, just hear me out. One of the best ways to get my point across is with scripture:

“Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.’ 20But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”

22And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. 23For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! 25And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?^c 26If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? 27Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,^d yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. 30For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31Instead, seek his^e kingdom, and these things will be added to you.

32“Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. 33Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. 34For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. -Luke 12:16-34

Do you see it?

I want my words on this blog to be an encouragement to you and be a place where you can come a read about mine and my family's journey farming. But I also want it to be real, a place where you can read about all of my convictions, and a place that has it's priorities straight.

I am a believer and as such I trust that God will care for me and my family far beyond what we need or deserve. I do not want to place my trust in possessions, wealth, people, government, and yes my own ability to grow produce and raise animals for food. That is not where my hope is and I hope that I make that clear. My hope is in Christ and He is sufficient for my every need.

Christ did make me human however and as such, I need to do the work that He has set before me. The work which He has set before me is that I am first a Christian and must serve God (and I'm happy to), but I'm also a wife and a mama. I have a family to care for and children to raise. My convictions are such that farming is the best way to raise kids because I truly believe this is one of the closest ways to get to 'reality'. I think it a wise thing to know how to plant a fruit tree or how to start seeds and in turn get produce in the summer. I also think it wise to have the responsibility of caring for livestock, of overseeing that your animals are bred, and then when the time comes care for the new life and give thanks when that life can in time, nourish both you and your family. Wisdom is something that I pray God would pour out on me on a daily basis and I hope to emulate the Proverbs 31 woman in the way that I live.

So what more you say am I wanting to teach my children?

I want to teach them that they need to care for others like they would care for themselves. That generosity is a great and noble thing. I want to teach my children that there is more reward in helping those in need than there is in keeping all of your talents and possessions to yourself. I don't want to glorify a life lived for self and I surely don't want to be like the rich fool in the above parable. I don't want to build bigger barns to store my possessions, but I want to use the resources that God has given me and my family to help those that have less than we do. After all, none of this is mine. It's His.

My encouragement to you, dear readers, is to learn as much as you can and become well versed in how to care for yourselves and your families. Whether its learning how to catch rain so you have extra water for your Summer garden, whether it's learning how to help an animal give birth, or even if it's dedicating some of your time to help out a struggling family or a new mama overwhelmed by her new blessing. We all can help each other one way or another.

Let's not be like the rich fool that only thinks about his comfort, but lets be a generous people willing to give of ourselves (and our time) to others freely. After all, Christ gave himself for us so we could have hope and spend eternity with Him.

Lord bless every one of you and I hope you have been encouraged!

When Disaster Strikes

Well friends I had a COMPLETELY different post planned for today, but as the Lord would have it, plans change. Let me start at the beginning.

This day has started rough. I will admit I was a bit of a grump and then you add two children who have bad attitudes as well and let's just say it's a recipe for disaster. Not only do I have to deal with myself, but I also have to teach and train my children as to what it means to be happy, thankful, and not complain about every-single-little-thing-that-isn't-perfect. Oh, my what a hard job parenting can be! It's difficult to try to make myself get a better attitude let alone a 5 and a 3 year old.

Breakfast time was a task and we made it through. We all ate, were satisfied, and even smiled a little. I talked to my hubby during that time and he told me that I should just take the kids outside and go for a walk to get some fresh air. Little did he know...

When baby went down for her first nap I thought it would be a good time to go let the chickens out into their run and let Jude and Ella burn off some steam (literally). My mood was definitely perking up as I was putting on my tennis and feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin. The kids were thrilled to get to see the chickens and maybe, just maybe get to catch one. It's so nice to see how little things make them so happy. They catch chickens everyday and yet it never gets old for them.

As we were walking towards the coop together talking about how beautiful of a day it was, I looked up and about died. Yes died. Our whole garden was under water! The beautiful garden we just finished planting, the one I just finished weed eating, the one that we've been waiting for was under 5-6 inches of water. My heart dropped and I promptly turned around to go get my irrigation boots on. Damage control was in need and I had to get prepared. My first thought was about my beloved seedlings that I just planted, but alas I can't do much for them but wait and hope the the water will drain quickly. I hope everything doesn't die, but there's a good chance that it will. I'm thankful that we can flood irrigate our property, but we need to prevent it's passage into our garden and chicken coop.

Oh, yes I said it, the chicken coop. It definitely didn't escape unscathed. The poor girls were probably wondering what the heck happened. I just bought two sacks of organic feed for the chickens. You and I both know that it ain't CHEAP and I knew it was sittin' in the water. I got a empty garbage can and a bucket, two garbage bags, and pruning shears. Since the feed bags were upside down I couldn't open them properly and had to cut the tops off. I scooped out all of the dry feed and put them into the bags that lined the garbage can and bucket. Thankfully we only lost about a fifth of each bag so it definitely could have been worse. I decided to let the wild birds have some goodies and instead of throwing the damp food away I spread it out in our front yard and figured the sun would dry it and the birds could have an easy meal.

I seriously could cry over my seedlings. I know it sounds silly and pathetic, but I've been doting on those darn things for weeks now and only one week after planting them I might lose them. I so desperately want a garden and to be able to feed my family from the place. I want to spend time with my kids teaching them about the rewards of hard work and get our hands dirty together. All-in-all I want everything to be perfect.

That is the problem. Perfection is unattainable this side of heaven. Life happens and lessons are to be learned.

On a spiritual note, I was humbled today. I myself woke up a bit grumpy and then was irritated when my kids did the same. I wanted them to just change their attitude and be nice, respectful, and happy. Just like that. I wanted to quickly go let the chickens out so I could come back to the house and clean, clean, get ready for company, and clean. I have laundry that needs to be folded, a house that looks like kids live here (cause they do), dishes to do, and the list goes on and on and on. While scooping food into the dry bags I was thinking about how the day already is a bad one and then no sooner did I think that then did I realize it was a great day. What do I have to complain about? I have a house, food, children, a husband, I have animals to care for that will provide food one day (Lord willing), and I have a garden. Even though it's under water, I still have one. I'm one of the Lord's and He's blessed me. I should NOT complain, my life could be infinitely worse.

The Lord was changing my heart and helping me to see my blessings and not the  events that I was dwelling on as the makings of a terrible day. I got perspective in a hurry. While I was grumbling in the coop about the over-abundance of water, my children were outside playing and having a joyous time. Imaginations were running wild and I could hear them defeating the crocodiles and saving the lady bugs from imminent death. Such grand tales from such little souls.

Again, humbled.

Farm life has unexpected twists and turns. Sometimes it seems like everything is going right and that life couldn't get better. Seeds are growing, sprouting, producing, and animals are thriving, healthy, and reproducing. There are the times when disaster strikes and flooding washes over your garden (or a drought), animals get sick and die (or eaten/attacked), and I could go on.

If your dreaming of a farm, please know that there are highs and lows much like life. If you have farmed or are living on one, I'm probably preaching to the choir.

I have come up with a short list that I will leave you with. One that I think is a compilation of what you need to have on hand when you have to deal with a flooding garden and chicken coop.

• Empty and clean garbage cans


• Garbage bags (preferably the LARGE ones)


• Scissors (or garden shears when your desperate)


• Irrigation boots


• A good attitude


• Sanity

Of Gypsies and Caravans

I have a confession to make. There is something about me that not many people know about.

Heck, I'm not sure if my hubby knows. He will now.

I have always been fascinated with gypsies. The colors they love and decorate with, their sense of style, their independent spirits, and their lack of care for what others think.



What is it about gypsies that makes them want to stand apart from everyone else? What makes them go against what everyone else is doing and find a new way, a different path, and a more unconventional way of living.

Freedom? Maybe.

Life on the road; never having a permanent residence; always a change in the scenery, but always having your loved ones with you. Sounds like a recipe for a lot of fun. Or it could spell disaster if you don't like your family I guess.



It's got to be fun and yet I am sure there is an exhausting side to it as well. The never ending packing up and making sure everything is where it needs to be. Come on, you don't have enough space to be messy when you travel in a caravan and only have so much space. You probably have to be VERY objective when it comes to your 'things'. Not enough space to have everything you want.

However, I would think that everything you want would be there. A bed (or something) to sleep on, food to eat, a place to call home...even if it is on wheels. Plenty of sunshine to be had and I'm sure the stories that gypsies can tell are amazing along with their songs.

And then comes Winter and I'm sure life ain't so great then. What do I know? I've never lived like a gypsy and so I'll keep thinking it's fantastic.

I just LOVE how they decorate their 'homes'. The color and attention to detail is wonderful!







I'm not sure about you, but I'd love to take a bath here.

When I think of gypsies I tend to think about how that kind of life could relate to another.

As a believer I can kind of relate to the gypsy folk. Curious?

Let me explain.

When Christ saves someone (I'll use myself as an example). When Christ saved me He gave me a new heart, took the blinders off my eyes, and gave me the ability to 'see'. This earth is not my home and I know my stay here is temporary. Heaven is my eternal resting place and I look forward to it greatly. So I guess, like the gypsies who wander from place to place never really settling down and always feeling like they don't fit in with the world, my soul is here for a while, awaiting the time when my eternal and permanent home is ready. Sure I'm enjoying the life that God has blessed me with, and if your wondering I'm not wanting anything to be sped up. I love raising my babies and lovin' on my man and so I am very content to wait on God's timing.





So who knows what lies in the future. I'm sure gonna be enjoying today and today I'm lovin' me some gypsies and caravans.

Is there something that not everyone knows about you? Do tell!

So long as it's appropriate that is...